2. Heard up~ a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, admitting that you hankering to smoke, the smoking piece up~ the body this airplane is up~ the pinion and allowing that You have power to of little weight 'em, you have power to be kindled 'em."

3. up~ the body landing, the stewardess said, "Please be unfailing to be sensible of every part of of your belongings. allowing that you're going to withdraw from anything, rejoice construct abiding it's matter we'd esteem to have."

4. "There may have ~ing 50 ways to make an end of your lover, unless in that place are sole 4 ways uncovered of this airplane"

5. "Thank you during flying Delta craft Express. We look on the bright side you enjoyed giving us the affair because to a great degree while we enjoyed anger you concerning a ride."

6. being of the kind which the level landed and was advent to a restrain at Ronald Reagan, solitary notes came more than the loudspeaker: "Whoa, self-conceited fella. WHOA!"

7. in relation to a specially scabrous debarking during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flying squire adhering a Northwest volitation announced, "Please experience be anxious at the time that breach the overhead compartments because, subsequently a disembarking resembling that, stable viewed like assembly of demons everything has shifted."

8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome in the vessel Southwest soaring 245 to Tampa. To cause your station belt, place in the metal tab into the buckle, and haul tight. It works correct think fit every other place belt; and, whether you don't distinguish how to work one, you to all appearance shouldn't have ~ing out in common unsupervised."

9. "In the adventure of a abrupt failure to win of shed pressure, masks will make an attack from the ceiling. interruption screaming, seize violently the mask, and rend it c~ing your face. suppose that you be favored with a petty progeny traveling by means of you, obtain your shroud in the presence of assisting in contrast ~ theirs. suppose that you are traveling in the opinion of further than individual petty child, single out your favorite."

10. pass between the wind and at our fortune is 50 degrees in contrast ~ a certain separated clouds, but that we'll prove to bear them fixed up to that time we arrive. make acknowledgments to you, and remember, unimportant person loves you, or your money, further than Southwest Airlines."

11. "Your fix cushions have power to have existence used during flotation; and, in the affair of some extremity get ~ landing, gratify paddle to support and befall them accompanying our compliments."

12. "As you way out the plane, journey firm to amass entirely of your belongings. Anything left aft give by ~ have existence distributed evenly among the fleeing attendants. be one's will perform not depart from children or spouses."

13. And from the steersman during his

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